Is coming up on July 5. That’s when my husband says he’s going to review my performance as a wife over the past year. I pointed out that I didn’t know ahead of time what criteria I was being judged on. That doesn’t seem fair. He’s already hinted that I’m going to score high marks for buying squeeze-tube mayonnaise instead of a tub. Also, he was pleased with my scrubbing of the stove top and the sink today, though disappointed that he won’t be able to complain in my review that I never clean the kitchen. Ha!

Of course, I now have to give him a performance review, too. Where do I begin?

July 5 happens to be the anniversary of our first meeting, which is a date we both remember. Our wedding date, on the other hand, we can never remember. It was either February 17, 18 or 21. That gives me an idea. Should I incorporate a pop quiz into my review? When did we get married? What’s my favorite color? What’s the funniest joke I ever told? How does my hair look? Do I look fat?

He is so going to fail.

photo courtesy stevendepolo on flickr