I am not a weak-willed person. I ran three marathons after knee surgery, delivered one of my babies without any drugs and skate outside in subzero temperatures without a hat. But I’ve got to confess. When it comes to listening to Tess, my 4-month old baby, cry, I am a wus. Maybe it’s because she was sick. Or maybe I’m not as tough as I like to think I am. But when she wakes up three or four times a night, I comfort her. Rub her belly, stroke her cheek. Feed her.
But I’m blind tired and need to start getting some sleep. Last night she was up about 10 times. There are nights when I lose count how many times I’ve been up. I am struggling to string sentences together and this afternoon I found myself in the bathroom wondering what I was doing there. I sleep trained my first baby at 6 months and swore afterward that I would do it sooner. It works and it’s life changing.
Knowing I am prone to cave into her cries, I’ve come up with a commitment device* to get my dear child to sleep: I’m leaving. Literally. Moving to a friend’s for the night and leaving my husband to the torture of a wailing infant. I got the idea from a woman we met on the road who told me her husband sleep trained her daughter while she was on a business trip. At the time, I thought he was mad. Clearly I wasn’t tired enough to realize the genius, and true love, of his plan.
I can’t live in a fog forever. Wish me luck.
* commitment device: a way to make you do something you don’t want to do, or you want to do but never really get around to doing.