I came up with this list as an early valentine for my husband:
1. Help with garbage night.
2. Join you in the 30-day meditation challenge.
3. Not remind you when you have to make up a work shift at the food coop.
4. Use my Petzl head lamp when I’m reading in bed and you’re already asleep.
5. Work on my tone of voice when I’m frustrated.
6. Pick my battles.
7. Entertain notion that my way isn’t the only way.
8. Try again to make braised pork shoulder.
9. Give Sonny & the Sunsets another chance.
10. Let things go.
*Pareto efficiency means there’s no simple change that would make either person happier, or just as happy. So if there are things you can do to make your partner happier–and it doesn’t actually make you any worse off (and really, what makes you THAT worse off?)–then your marriage isn’t yet Pareto efficient.